There's a lot of advice out there about how to be happier, much of which didn’t really help me.

What did help? There's lots I could share but in this post I want to focus on the things that were more unexpected...

#1 - Being More Selfish & Putting Yourself First

Being selfish and putting yourself first is NOT a bad thing. In fact, it’s essential. If you constantly put others’ needs above your own, you risk feeling drained and resentful. You'll also likely end up living a life that doesn’t reflect what you truly want.

Your needs matter. Your happiness is a priority. Setting boundaries may challenge some relationships, but that’s okay. When people react negatively, it’s often because they’ve benefited from your lack of boundaries or wish they could do the same for themselves.

#2 - Throwing My 5 Year Plans In The Bin

This was one of the most liberating changes I made. I used to spend so much time planning, working backward from goals and constantly assessing my progress. It felt like I was trying to predict and control everything, which only drained my energy.

One day, I decided to let go of long-term plans and focus on the short term - around 3 to 6 months ahead. This shift gave me more freedom to respond to what was happening in the moment.

I still love planning, but now it’s more about creating flexibility rather than trying to control outcomes. Letting go of the rigid plans freed me from the pressure of always “measuring up” to where I thought I should be.

#3 - Getting OK With Being Disliked

If I could give everyone one superpower, it would be this: the ability to be okay with being disliked. It might not sound as cool as flying or invisibility, but it’s life-changing.

Notice how often you hold back to avoid disapproval. Maybe you don’t share your true opinion, stay quiet in a meeting or avoid tough conversations to keep the peace.

There’s something incredibly freeing about living life without worrying about what others think. When you stop chasing approval you can show up exactly as you are—and that’s where true happiness begins.

#4 - Sitting With Discomfort

We all have ways of numbing discomfort such as eating, drinking, scrolling, working, or zoning out with TV or social media. These habits give us a break from moments that feel "too much", but they often keep us stuck on autopilot.

Start by noticing when and how you numb. For example, before grabbing that snack or picking up your phone, ask yourself: Am I avoiding something? What might I be feeling right now?

This isn’t about judgment, it’s about curiosity. The more you notice these patterns, the more you can begin to break free and respond to discomfort in healthier, more empowering ways.

#5 - Stopped Trying So Hard To Be Happy

This idea came from one of my teachers, John El-Mokadem and it really helped me. John pointed out how we of spend so much time, energy, and effort trying to “achieve” happiness - and how that effort often makes us feel less happy.

So, I stopped trying so hard. I stopped chasing a formula for happiness and instead began following the small nudges life gave me.

Rather than asking, “What makes people happy?” I started asking, “What feels good to me right now?” Sometimes it was as simple as going to the park or picking up my sketchbook. Other times, it was simply doing nothing. When I stopped striving for happiness, I discovered it naturally showed up in my everyday life.

And there we have it, 5 unexpected things that made me a LOT happier.

As always, see what resonates with you and happy exploring.

Take care,

Paul